TOTAL RECALL

Tube Etiquette

2004-12-16T06:07:00.000-08:00

Right my new bugbear, replacing the dogpoop all over my street (which is still bad btw) is the (slightly tautological) "I hate people doing things on the tube that I hate people doing on the tube". This is true especially for on my way into work - about 830am, when I should be happily looking at all da pretty gals.

Snogging - I hate those "had our first shag last night, yes we both work in the same office" type of people. GET A ROOM.
Eating - I hate people eating on the tube, especially whiffy Greggs Sausage rolls.
Noisy CHCHCHCHCHCHCHC ipods and personal stereos - turn it off! - Last week I heard "Living On a Prayer" (hi-hat only mix) for 3 minutes from an otherwise-normal looking woman.
People not sitting 4 to a little bit - sometimes IDIOTS squeeze 5 in - NO ROOM - or IDIOTS sit across the unmarked spaces - resulting in 3 to a seat.
COUGHERS AND SNEEZERS - this annoying little midget woman kept coughing next to me, without even putting her hand in front of cats bum mouth.
Platform Space Invaders - It's the same as Urinal etiquette you IDIOTS - DO NOT STAND NEAR TO ME!!!!!!!!

Ukrainian Sayings, #14

2004-11-12T07:13:00.000-08:00

In my country, we have a saying:

it's some piece of technology!

I Dreamt about you last night....

2004-11-12T02:35:00.000-08:00

Last night I dreamt that I got 2 bobby womack and 2 Al Green CD Singles for only 4.99 from Fopp.

Cool!

Glaswegian Sayings (Female) #1

2004-11-09T08:36:00.001-08:00

In my country, we have a saying:

All men are idjeets.

This was announced when Ivy was trying to think of "a good sexist saying". SERVES HIM RIGHT.

Ukrainian Sayings #8 (Now with context)

2004-11-03T05:57:00.000-08:00

Five men went to mow.
At sainsbury's.
Four were in and out like Barrymore.
They awaited the Ukrainian fifth. (Not a guitar chord btw).

He arrived, late as ususal, and said:

In my country, we have a saying:

Nine men, do not wait for one.

Ukrainian Sayings #7

2004-11-02T07:13:00.000-08:00

In my country, we have a saying:

I don't exist for money, the money exists for me.

Ukrainian Sayings #6

2004-10-01T03:10:00.000-07:00

In my country, we have a saying:

You are as many times a person as many languages you speak.

(Originally from V Lenin - possibly russian, not Ukrainian)

Ukrainian Sayings #5

2004-09-29T01:19:00.000-07:00

In my country, we have a saying:

Even God looks after lazy man.

Martian Mutant Sayings #1

2004-09-24T07:07:00.000-07:00

On my planet, we have a saying:

A man is defined by his actions, not his memory.

Prodigal Sayings #1

2004-09-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

In my bedroom, we have a saying:

There's no place like 127.0.0.1

Stewarton Sayings #1

2004-09-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

In my village (now sadly lacking its idiot), we have a saying:

He who cooked the goose, goosed the cook.

Ukranian Sayings #4

2004-09-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

In my country, we have a saying:

The best thing to knock out a wedge - is another wedge.

Ukrainian Sayings #3

2004-09-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

In my country, we have a saying:

Work is not a wolf. It will not run away into the forest.

It will be there waiting for you.

British sayings #1

2004-09-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

In my country, we have a saying:

DON'T GO FASTER THAN THE SPEED LIMIT. Especially when being followed by the cops.

Ukrainian Sayings #2

2004-09-17T06:17:00.000-07:00

In my country, we have a saying:

A man is not a dog. He wants more than the bones.

Ukranian Sayings # 1

2004-09-17T02:50:00.000-07:00

In my country, we have a saying:

The mingy bastard - pays twice.

Gordo may blog too

2004-09-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

BENNY, SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW YOUUUUUUUUU

INSERT COIN

2004-09-08T03:45:00.000-07:00

Press Player 1 to start! !