Thursday, December 16, 2004
Tube Etiquette
Right my new bugbear, replacing the dogpoop all over my street (which is still bad btw) is the (slightly tautological) "I hate people doing things on the tube that I hate people doing on the tube". This is true especially for on my way into work - about 830am, when I should be happily looking at all da pretty gals.
- Snogging - I hate those "had our first shag last night, yes we both work in the same office" type of people. GET A ROOM.
- Eating - I hate people eating on the tube, especially whiffy Greggs Sausage rolls.
- Noisy CHCHCHCHCHCHCHC ipods and personal stereos - turn it off! - Last week I heard "Living On a Prayer" (hi-hat only mix) for 3 minutes from an otherwise-normal looking woman.
- People not sitting 4 to a little bit - sometimes IDIOTS squeeze 5 in - NO ROOM - or IDIOTS sit across the unmarked spaces - resulting in 3 to a seat.
- COUGHERS AND SNEEZERS - this annoying little midget woman kept coughing next to me, without even putting her hand in front of cats bum mouth.
- Platform Space Invaders - It's the same as Urinal etiquette you IDIOTS - DO NOT STAND NEAR TO ME!!!!!!!!
Friday, November 12, 2004
Ukrainian Sayings, #14
I Dreamt about you last night....
Last night I dreamt that I got 2 bobby womack and 2 Al Green CD Singles for only 4.99 from Fopp.
Cool!
Cool!
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Glaswegian Sayings (Female) #1
In my country, we have a saying:
All men are idjeets.
This was announced when Ivy was trying to think of "a good sexist saying". SERVES HIM RIGHT.
All men are idjeets.
This was announced when Ivy was trying to think of "a good sexist saying". SERVES HIM RIGHT.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Ukrainian Sayings #8 (Now with context)
Five men went to mow.
At sainsbury's.
Four were in and out like Barrymore.
They awaited the Ukrainian fifth. (Not a guitar chord btw).
He arrived, late as ususal, and said:
In my country, we have a saying:
Nine men, do not wait for one.
At sainsbury's.
Four were in and out like Barrymore.
They awaited the Ukrainian fifth. (Not a guitar chord btw).
He arrived, late as ususal, and said:
In my country, we have a saying:
Nine men, do not wait for one.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Ukrainian Sayings #7
In my country, we have a saying:
I don't exist for money, the money exists for me.
I don't exist for money, the money exists for me.
Friday, October 01, 2004
Ukrainian Sayings #6
In my country, we have a saying:
You are as many times a person as many languages you speak.
(Originally from V Lenin - possibly russian, not Ukrainian)
You are as many times a person as many languages you speak.
(Originally from V Lenin - possibly russian, not Ukrainian)
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Ukrainian Sayings #5
In my country, we have a saying:
Even God looks after lazy man.
Even God looks after lazy man.
